The Dance of Elephants - A Missing Scene from Amoroso -- by BillA1

Copyright May 18, 2007

Disclaimer: The characters Batman, Green Lantern, Hawkgirl, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Superman & Flash and their respective secret identities are all owned by DC Comics. This story is intended for my own pleasure and is not for profit. It has been posted to this site for others to read. Places and characters not own by DC Comics are my own creation. Thanks for all the fish.

The Dance of Elephants

Synopsis: In the gym, John & Shayera discuss their relationship. A missing scene from Amoroso.

Rating: (PG-13)

Author's Note: I would like to state that there is no significance to the date of this posting. It is a complete astronomical coincidence coupled with a mostly effective time recording system that dictates certain "dates" fall every 365.25 revolutions of this planet. No inference should thus be made to the contrary to the chosen publication date of this story and any other coincidentally similar events with the same so-called "date."

Nope. No reason for today at all.

Oh, and by the way, if you think you've read the above paragraphs somewhere before, written by someone else, you have and that's all I'm sayin' about that.

A/N 2: This piece is offered as is without the benefit of a beta. Why? Because every 365.25 revolutions of this planet, everyone (even betas) should get a day off.

You and I have memories longer than the road that stretches out ahead. (Two of Us - Lennon/McCartney)

 The day after Superman and Green Lantern discovered Toyman's love potion at the Metrotower.

(Watchtower Cafeteria)

"What do you think I should do?" Mari said.

She'd just told me that Wally, who unbeknownst to her was acting under the influence of some chemical mixture, had ripped her dress while she was working in Sydney, Australia. She'd asked my opinion as to whether or not to accept his offer to pay for it. I nodded, wondering what it would cost me to apologize for my behavior with Diana as I said, "He's good for it. I'll help pay for it, too."

Mari stood. There was a tinge of anger in her voice that I decided was in my best interest to ignore at the moment.

"I paid for the dress, John," she said firmly. "What's going on between you two? Is this another one of those 'Secret Seven' things again 'cause I just saw Shayera in the gym and she looks like someone stuck something up her butt and broke it off. Is there anything going on we need to talk about?"

I stood, walked over to Mari's side of the table and kissed her on the forehead. I had to leave before she pressed as to why I couldn't talk. I couldn't tell her that six of the founding members decided we wouldn't tell the others that League security had been compromised. Again!

"Thanks for paying for the dress," I told her instead. "I'll see about getting you reimbursed."

I paused for a moment wondering how I was actually going to make that part happen. "It's not anything I can talk about," I continued, "but I'll try to spend some more time with you to make it up to you. I'm sure Flash will want to apologize to you. I would really appreciate it if you can find a way to accept his apology."

I flashed a quick smile which she did not return, turned and walked out of the cafeteria. There would be lots of apologies today from everyone affected yesterday by that aromatic mess Superman and I found in the Metrotower air conditioning system. Diana was the one I knew I had to apologize to, but first I needed to see Shayera.

The walk from the cafeteria to the exercise room was no more than four hundred meters, and yet today, it felt like a thousand. I'd practiced a hundred times in my head what I was going to say to her; but no matter how I tried to color it or word it, it always came out the same: "Yes, Shayera, I was a jerk."

The lighting in the empty corridor seemed darker than normal and I reflected that it matched my mood as I closed the distance to the gym. Suddenly, I stopped. I could hear sounds coming from the gymnasium, but I wasn't exactly sure what I was hearing.

Okay, that wasn't quite true. At some level, I knew exactly what I was hearing. I mean, after more than seven years together, I knew the sound of Shayera's voice. I knew the sounds she made when she was aroused to anger ... or to lust.

The sounds I heard were closer to annoyance than to pleasure and yet as I approached, for some reason I'd never be able to adequately explain to anyone, it was an easy leap for me to close my eyes and envision those sounds coming from a woman in the throes of passion.

I slowed my pace and quietly approached the fitness center entrance. From the edge of the doorway I watched her, I'm ashamed to say, almost like a peeping tom. She was the only one in the room. She lay on her back, her eyes closed, her legs and wings widely spread apart, straddling the bench, grunting with every lift of the weights she pressed. And she was lifting an impressive amount of weight.

I would have been less than honest with myself if I didn't admit that seeing her in that position made my heart race, and filled my head with images from the days and nights between Las Vegas and the invasion. And as I watched her, drenched in perspiration and straining against the weights she lifted, my mind did wander to a time I'd consciously shut out of my memory.

In that instant, I realized how much I missed those days; how much I missed what we'd had. And there was no denying that we did have something until it fell apart as quickly as it began, slipping out of our hands like sand through our fingers.

She set the weights back in their cradle, sat up and turned around so that she had her back to the door and to me. "Did you need something, John?" she said.

I secretly grinned to myself. There were so many things I could have said to answer that question. But I didn't say anything immediately because I found myself wondering how she knew I was there. I was positive I hadn't made any noise beyond my normal breathing, so I didn't know what gave my presence away. I frowned, chalking it up to another one of those Thanagarian things I'd never really know the answer to.

Figuring I was busted anyway, I entered the gym with no more pretense of stealth and answered her question with: "No. Not really."

She picked up a towel from the end of the bench, then staying seated, swung around to face me. After wiping the back of her neck with the cloth, she slung it over her left shoulder. "Oh. Okay. I was just leaving."

"Don't go," I said way too quickly as she stood. It was just the two of us in the room and the realization dawned on me that being alone was typical for her. She was alone everywhere she went, even in a room full of people. I cleared my throat, glancing at the weight machine between us.

"Actually I was thinking about lifting weights," I covered as I lay down on the bench. Good Lord, man, what are you doing? You're acting like a school kid - and a stupid one at that. I centered myself on the bench, grabbed the bar and closed my eyes. "I need a spotter. Will you spot for me?"

There was silence -- a long drawn out silence.

I opened my eyes and stared into her frown.

"You don't need a spotter with this machine, John," she said. She looked at me really hard, then shook her head. "Everybody knows that. So, what is it you really want?"

I took a deep breath, sat up and rubbed the back of my neck with my ring hand. "Would you mind if I closed the door? I have something I want to say and I don't want us to be interrupted."

Her eyes narrowed. "I do mind, John. What's this about?" Her frown deepened as she added, "More talk about the future you don't want?"

Ouch. "No," I shrugged. Then a wave of uncertainty overcame me because I honestly didn't know what I was going to say next. "At least I don't think so," I told her.

She looked bemused for a moment, then frowned again.

"Will you sit down with me?" I asked as I slid down toward the end of the bench. Her expression remained one of puzzlement, but after a moment or two she did finally sit down, but she took care to ensure she was at least an arm's length away.

I looked into her face, then turned away from her gaze and looked down to the floor

"Is Mari alright?" she asked.

I tightly smiled in self amusement. "She's okay. Wants to know what's going on with the 'Secret Seven' as she called us. I told her that I couldn't tell her."

Shayera nodded. "No, I guess you couldn't." She paused as I looked up into her face. She looked away, then back again before she asked, "How'd she take it when you told her that?"

"As well as I expected, I guess. Told her I'd make it up to her by spending some more time with her."

Shayera's expression flattened immediately. "Yeah. I'm sure that will placate everyone."

There was something in Shayera's tone that told me she didn't approve of my solution. I frowned. "Well, I guess it might, at least, for a while."

She was silent for a long moment, then she drew her lips into a thin line, cleared her throat and stood. There was a quiver in her voice as she shook her head, "John, I don't know what you want from me anymore ... don't know what you expect me to say." She looked toward the door, then took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, before looking back at me. "But I can't do this dance anymore." She took another deep breath and headed for the exit. "I can't and I won't."

"Shayera! Wait!" I ringed an energy dome around both of us to keep her from leaving. In hindsight, I don't know what reaction I really expected from her when I did that, but anger wasn't number one on my list, but it seemed to fly to the top of hers at the speed of heat.

She kept her back to me as she snapped, "Drop this wall and let me go! Now!"

My eyes widened as her words smacked me like a brick. I pondered that she might be right on so many levels. Since her return to League, I'd thrown up all kinds of walls in our relationship in an effort to keep my distance ... no, to keep her at a distance. In hindsight, I had no right to prevent her from leaving or requiring her to stay simply because of what I wanted.

Or didn't want.

"This has all gone wrong," I said. "I had this big apology I was going to give you and now...." I let the sentence die in my throat as I dropped the energy wall. "I'm sorry."

I had expected her to storm out of the gym the way she stomped out of the computer room when I unsuccessfully tried to convince her not to go out on that date with Carter Hall. Instead, Shayera didn't leave, but rather stood in the doorway with her back to me. "So, let's hear it," she said over her shoulder.

"Hear what?"

"Let's hear this big apology you had planned."

"Even if it starts out with I haven't been fair to you?"

"Especially if it starts out with those words."

"Okay," I said. "Shayera, I haven't been fair to you or to myself and I'm sorry. And I want to make it up to you. If you'll let me."

She was silent again, keeping her back to me. Then she said, "As far as apologies go, that's a good start." She turned around to face me, folding her arms across her chest as she did so. Her expression remained flat. "What else you got?"

A part of me wanted to smile at her choice of words, but I didn't. She wasn't going to make this easy. I took a deep breath. In for a penny, in for a pound. I stepped toward her. "Over the last couple of days, my feelings for you kinda crystallized. I realized I'd been holding a grudge against you because of the way things turned out between us. Then I saw a future where you and I had a child and I was confused, even afraid."

Her expression didn't change in the least. "I thought you were out of my system," I continued. "I though I could see you everyday and we'd just be friends and that I would be okay with that because I loved Mari. Then I found out there will be an 'us' again and I didn't know what that meant." I paused and looked deeply into her eyes as I said, "I'll never deny the feelings I still have for you, but I can't deny what I feel for Mari, either.

I risked a small tight smile. I shouldn't have.

She stared at me as if I were a wart on her finger. "I guess," she said, "this is the part where I'm supposed to say: Oh, that's alright, John, I completely understand. You know how I feel about you so I'll just wait around in a corner somewhere while you and Mari live out your lives. I'll always be available for you." She shook her head. "Sorry, John, but I can't say that." She paused. "I won't say that."

"And I don't want you to say that or anything else," I quickly added. "Years ago, when we fought Despero on Kalinor and he broke my will, you encouraged me by prefacing your counsel with: 'as a friend and equal.' Remember that?"

She nodded her head and I stepped closer. I was sure there were other things about that adventure she'd like to forget, but for the moment, it was important to me that she remember it all.

"Shayera, your friendship is extremely important to me," I said. "I don't ever want to lose you as a friend." I paused for a moment before gently placing my hand on her shoulder, looking her in the eyes and repeating, "Ever!"

There was a wisp of a smile on her face as she glanced at my hand on her shoulder, then back to my face. "There was a second part to that counsel as I recall. What about the equal part?" she said.

"Didn't want to state the obvious," I shrugged, removing my hand. I risked another smile, wider than the last one, and this time she returned it.

"I don't want to ever lose your friendship either, John," she said. Then the all too familiar frown returned. "But you understand that I'm not waiting around for you, right?"

I did understand. After all, I was the one who told her that whatever the future held, we'd make those choices ourselves. But to be honest, I really wasn't sure I was including her in my thought processes when I said we.

"With crystal clarity," I answered. I waited about half a heartbeat before I said, "Want to go for coffee around noon after I see Diana?"

She shook her head. "I can't."

I briefly frowned before trying to get my poker face back on again. Years later, I would tell Rex that her answer was unexpected, but it shouldn't have been. After all, she had the same thing I had - free will. I guess I just really didn't expect her to exercise it.

I'm not sure how well I masked my disappointment as she added, "I promised Carter I'd fly the thermals in the Grand Canyon with him around noon today."

"Oh, okay," I said pretending I was alright with this news. I wasn't.

"But I'm available for breakfast tomorrow morning."

I didn't mask my grin. "Breakfast it is. Eight o'clock, okay?"

Her smile widened. "Eight o'clock is perfect. I gotta go. See you tomorrow at eight."

As I watched her leave, it dawned on me that sometimes life can mock you, and you don't know it until you wake one morning, look back and wonder what happened.

But for me, from now on, things would be different. Tomorrow morning when I awoke, I would be looking forward - not backwards.

I'd always heard that breakfast was the most important meal of the day. As I left the gym for the Batcave to apologize to Diana, I pondered that tomorrow morning's breakfast would be.

For the first time, in a long time, I'd have breakfast with someone I'd missed; someone who I now knew I could never deny was still very important to me.

Tomorrow, I'd have breakfast with an old friend.

END

Want to leave a comment about the story you just read?

Click the comment button above, then page down until you see the reply box on the new web page.

Note: Commenting may open another window depending on your browser settings.