PHOENIX RISING by BILLA1

Copyright August 2004

Disclaimer: The Characters Batman, Green Lantern, Hawkgirl, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Superman & Flash and their respective secret identities are all owned by DC Comics. This story is intended for my own pleasure and is not for profit. It has been posted to this site for others to read. Mirror of Venus by Wingate Paine, 1970, Random House (PG-13)

This story is response to HawkGirl 92's challenge. (John's Reaction) Thank you. Please enjoy.

Phoenix Rising

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Prologue - Inside Wayne Manor the day after the Thanagarian fleet withdrew from its failed invasion.

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Not a prisoner, but the spoils of war, thought former Thanagarian intelligence officer, Lieutenant Shayera Hol, previously known to the Earth populace as the Hawkgirl. That's what I am... and now the victor is deciding if I have any value...if I should be kept or thrown away.

"They've been in there a long time," she said as she turned the television off and put the remote control down on the coffee table.

"Yes, Miss they have," Alfred Pennyworth, the butler and man-servant to billionaire Bruce Wayne, also know as the Batman said as he poured her a cup of hot tea. As he handed the cup to her he said, "If I may be so bold, I am neither a superhero nor a soldier, so I'm hardly qualified to judge your actions by those standards. But I do know this. Without the great sacrifices you made, we would not be here to share this nice pot of tea."

As she accepted the tea she smiled and he smiled back. He grasped her hand as she took the cup and looking into her eyes said, "Whatever they decide in that room - in my eyes, you will always be a hero."

Her smile deepened slightly. I cannot allow them to make that decision. I will not allow them to make that decision.

*******

Inside the drawing room, next to the sitting room where Shayera Hol awaited her fate, the debate had been heated.

The Batman had reached the limits of his patience.

"Enough! We have talked in circles. Let's vote. Superman, what's your vote?

The response from the Man of Steel was swift. "Out!"

The Batman turned to Wonder Woman and her response was quicker and sharper that Superman's. "Out!" the Princess snarled.

"Flash, your vote."

"In," the Scarlet Speedster said with no trace of humor in his voice.

"J'onn, your vote."

"In," the Martian Manhunter replied in his deep monotone voice.

The Dark Knight looked at John Stewart, the Green Lantern of Earth and said, "My vote is 'out.' John, are you voting or abstaining? If you abstain, she's out."

Stewart stood up slowly, wincing as the movement of his injured arm caused him pain. He slowly looked around the room at the members seated at the table and with a sadness in his eyes the other five Leaguers had not seen before said, "I'm voting." 

He took a deep breath and exhale slowly, "Out! - She's out."

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Part One - "Nothing is so bad that you ..."

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Sleep was the enemy. In his sleep, he was not in control. In his sleep, he might see her face. In his sleep, he might hear her voice.

In his sleep, she touched his soul and he couldn't stand the pain of the touch.

In the days and nights following the failed Thanagarian invasion, John Stewart tried to busy himself; taking every mission he could for the League, for the Lantern Corps, for anybody who would offer him a chance not to think about her. But during the past thirteen months, he had not been hundred percent successful in keeping her out of his consciousness. When he was awake, he could force himself to think about anything but her, but when he was asleep...there was no peace.

In his sleep, she owned him. In his sleep, she controlled him. In his sleep, she possessed him.

Every night, when sleep would steal his soul, he would awaken calling out the name of the thief, "SHAYERA!"

And he still loved her.

Tonight, he could not sleep. Tonight, he would not sleep. Tonight, he would try to regain some control in his life.

He had not seen her since she flew away that summer day thirteen months ago. The pain in his heart was real, but his head said he must let go. And letting go was so hard. Tonight, in his apartment he would go through the things she had left there and throw them away - as he felt she had thrown away their love.

He had gathered her things the day after she left and placed them in a box by his apartment front door. He had hoped against hope that she would return - at least to him, if nothing more than to reclaim her things, but she didn't. As time went on, the pain of looking at her things as he left his apartment every day began to wear on him and pull on his heart.

She wasn't coming back. He realized that now. She may not even be on the planet now. This yearning for her must stop. This was not unrequited love. This was pain. This was punishment. And the punishment must stop.

His first thought was to throw everything in the box away without looking at them - just put them in the trash and just let go - just like she had let him go. But he couldn't do it.

He took the box and set on the table. There were personal items like soaps and brushes. There was clothing and some books. He picked up one of the brushes and sniffed the bristles. Her scent...her scent...how he had missed the smell of the woman, the smell of her hair. Why was he punishing himself like this?

He sighed deeply, put the brush down and looked at the books she had. Probably books useful to the spy. He knew he didn't mean that, but those types of thoughts kept creeping into his consciousness as a defense mechanism. She had hurt him and he wanted to tell himself that she was callous, she was cold, and she was undeserving of his love. But deep down, he knew that wasn't true.

One of the books caught his eye. The book was Mirror of Venus by Wingate Paine. He flipped through the pages of the oversized book. It was a book containing photos of women captioned with poetry. Some of the photos were nudes but none were obscene.

Stewart was puzzled. The book was an "art" book - a coffee table book, but why would she have a book like this. As he flipped through the pages he noticed that some of the pages had writing on them and she had tagged two in particular. One tag marked a verse of poetry:

"Yet one day there will be

Nothing more, just blackness, absence, death.

This doesn't bother her when

You are near her,

At night when you are warm together.

The thought of her own death

Doesn't bother her, anyway -only the fear

That you will die first."

She had written the word "John" next to the poem.

Stewart was stunned. Maybe it wasn't all a lie. Maybe her feelings were genuine. It had been easy with her absence to tell himself that she didn't care, that she was lying that day on the bluffs of Wayne manor. Maybe - just maybe, she had been truthful after all.

He looked at the other tagged page. It was a nude woman photographed from the back. She had written on the photo "me with no wings." Stewart was confused. The photo looked nothing like her.

Why would she write "me with no wings" when she viewed her wings as her most prominent asset.

As he closed the book, a small 3X5 index card fell out from between the pages.

On the card, written in pencil, were two sets of coordinates - two sets of lat/longs. One was marked winter. The other was marked summer. He put the book down and looked at the card again. He stared absent-mindedly, unfocused at the card, for an undeterminable amount of time - lost in thought. He suddenly snapped to and keyed his Justice League communicator.

"J'onn," he said. "I need to see you."

**********

At the watchtower, J'onn J'ozz, took the index card from Stewart and keyed in the coordinates on the card into the computer. As he looked at the monitor display, he handed Stewart back the card.

"Where did you get this?" the Martian Manhunter asked.

"From things Shay...Hawkgirl left with me before she resigned."

Stewart didn't make eye contact with the Manhunter as he spoke. But he figured eye contact, which is normally used as an indicator of truthfulness, wasn't necessary since the Manhunter would simply read his mind if there were questions about the truthfulness of his response.

The six foot-seven inch Martian Manhunter stood up from his computer console dwarfing the six foot-one inch Green Lantern. He stood next to the Green Lantern and assumed a posture that at best could be called intimidating, at worse threatening. The Lantern was confused by this obvious show of aggression.

"The winter site is Coalinga, California," the Manhunter said. "The summer site is Red River, New Mexico." He paused and then added, "She is at neither site."

"What do you mean she is at neither site?" the Lantern said. "Do you know where she is?"

The Manhunter didn't change his stance but his tone softened. "Today she is outside Phoenix, Arizona. Outside of Glendale."

"How do you know that?" Stewart demanded. His right hand was balled in a fist and his left hand trembling at his side.

"She told the Flash yesterday that that is where she would be today. She moves every other day and she agreed to wear one of the Batman's tracking devices."

The Lantern slowly lowered his eyes from the Manhunter to the floor.

Anger flashed crossed Stewart's face as he quickly looked the Manhunter in the eyes and exploded, "Did everyone know where she was but me? How could you do this to me? I trusted you. I trusted you all."

"Only, the Flash, the Batman and I know where she is at any given time," the Manhunter said flatly. "Some members are still very angry with her. She particularly did not want you to know, so we have honored her request."

"What about what I wanted? What about me?"

"After you voted her out, the Flash and I didn't think you wanted to see her again."

The Manhunter's voice was matter of fact but the words hit Stewart like a fist. The words stung. He was going to tell her how he voted and why he voted the way he did that day on the bluff, but she wasn't interested in the vote and he didn't bring it up again.

Now, she may know what he did, but not know why and that would be more hurtful to her than even she deserved. He swallowed hard. Actions without explanations can only be assumed to be malice. There was no malice in his vote and she deserved to hear that from him.

"Does she know how I voted?" he asked.

"I don't know," the Manhunter replied.

Stewart took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. The fact that she didn't want him to know where she was, hurt almost as much as his feeling that those he trusted, his fellow Leaguers, didn't at least tell him she was still alive and well.

"Give me a tracker," Stewart said, "I am going to Phoenix."

***********

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Part Two - "...can't make it worse by doing something dumb in a hurry." - Casey Stengel.

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The heat in Phoenix, Arizona can be oppressive in the summer time. Yet despite the great heat and temperatures, the area offers a gentle quietness not often found in large metropolitan cities. Like the mythical bird, the city of Phoenix was a city of bright colors and heat and always renewing itself.

Today, Shayera Hol found herself camped outside the city of Phoenix.

Were it not for the assistance of her two advocates in the Justice League, the Flash and the Martian Manhunter, her prospects for survival would have lessened considerably. They provided with her with a captured Thanagarian mace, which would allow her to defend herself. And she knew she had to be able to defend herself against the punishment - against the personal retribution yet to come from Thanagar.

Weekly, the Flash would check on her and bring whatever supplies she needed. He would share news about the rebuilding of the League and its new members. He told her of the Manhunter's unhappiness with but reluctant acceptance of his role as the operations officer/ coordinator for League activities. And then there was news of John. She was keen to hear anything about John, anything at all.

In the beginning, she viewed the assistance of the Flash and the Manhunter as charity and she hated accepting it. But it was the Flash who convinced her to accept their help for the long term.

After the invasion, she was exiled to this planet with no way leave. Her five-foot long wings were so long compared to her five foot-seven inch body; that it was impossible for her to comfortably hide them for any length of time and try to blend in with the Earthlings. She was visibly different and she could not count on trying to hide in plain sight as a strategy for survival. Her survival would instead depend on taking advantage of this visible difference and from time to time she would assist the Flash secretly on some of his cases in Keystone City, Kansas. No, it wasn't charity. It was payment for services rendered and she felt better about it.

Before the invasion, Hawkgirl was a role the intelligence officer Shayera Hol played. Now, for the first time in her life, Shayera Hol was committed to being Hawkgirl, perhaps forever.

She kept the helmet from her old Hawkgirl costume, but she changed her costume colors from the bright yellow, red and green to solid black with red trim.

This Hawkgirl, the new Hawkgirl, would be a different person. Shayera Hol was different now and now Hawkgirl would be different as well.

She was in the process of setting up her campsite when by happenstance; she looked up and saw a green streak heading for her position.

She immediately recognized the streak as the Green Lantern and cursed to herself in Thanagarian. How? How could he have found her? Who told him where to find her? The tracking device...the damn tracking device. The moment she had dreaded was near.

If she took flight now, she knew she wouldn't be able to out run him. He would bring her down with his ring; perhaps more painfully and harder than he did when he was under the influence of the eclipsing gem on the Watchtower.

No, she would stay and give him a chance to vent. She would stay because she was tired of running from him. She would stay because she was tired of avoiding him. She would stay because she wanted to see him again.

The Green Lantern approached the campsite at high speed. Using his ring, he formed an energy bubble around the campsite, denying her escape. As he got closer, he reduced the size of the bubble until just she alone was trapped by its confines in a box not much bigger than her body. As he landed, she spoke in a calm voice.

"Let me go, John. I won't run, but let me go."

"Not until you hear me out," he said. The sound of her voice. How he had missed the sound of her voice.

"John, let me go NOW," she yelled as she unclipped her mace from her belt. She knew her mace would be useless against his ring but since her dream under the influence of Doctor Destiny, she didn't tolerate confined spaces well and she would not tolerate it at all from the hands of the Green Lantern.

When he saw her reach for her mace, he released her. He didn't want to fight her; he only wanted to talk to her. She clipped her mace back onto her belt. They stood looking at each silently for a few moments. Finally the Lantern spoke,

"Shayera, why didn't you want me to know where you were?"

She folded her arms across her chest and shifted her weight onto her left hip.

"Why?" she said sharply. "So you could put me in a small energy box? Oh - but wait, you just did that. Gee John, I just can't imagine why I didn't tell you where I was sooner. Maybe you can think of a reason?"

How he missed her fire and her passion. "I'm sorry about that. I just didn't want you to fly off again before we talked."

He paused, "I missed you."

She was silent for a moment and then said softly, "I missed you, too."

"I like the new costume. You look good in black. Black suits you."

She arches an eyebrow and gave a wry smile.

"You know what I meant," he said grinning.

She smiled, "I see you grew a beard. I guess I could tell you that I like it."

"I'm waiting for it. But..."

She smiled. "I've never lied to you before about us and I wouldn't want to start now."

He returned the smile. Oh, how he had missed that smile. "I believe you. I've never lied to you either."

The smile left his face. He turned his back to her.

"Damn, there was so much I wanted to say to you. Now the words won't come. Saying I missed you just doesn't seem to cut it but seeing you here I can't think of anything else to say.

He suddenly turned around to face her. His hands trembled with anger. The words spewed forth like a volcano.

"How could you do this to me? You just decide to walk away from our love without a howdy do. You leave me to wonder for thirteen months, was there something I did wrong? Was there something I should have done different? Was there something I did that I shouldn't have done? How dare you just decide that I don't matter? How dare you? For five years we have saved the world together and you suddenly decide that I don't even matter enough to at least let me know you were okay?"

She stepped back surprised by the volume and tone of his anger.

She snapped back, "Stop it. Just freaking stop it- I'm sorry I hurt you because hurting you hurt me, but you're not the only victim here."

"The hell I'm not," he shot back.

She stepped toward him. The tone in her voice was pointed. "John Stewart, sometimes you are as dumb as a rock. You were a soldier once. Do you know what happens to a spy that fails. A spy that becomes a traitor. Do you? Do you think that Thanagar is going to forget about me and let me live out my life to a ripe old age on this planet?"

She stepped back and turned her back to him. She spoke softly, "John, if I had been taken back with the invasion fleet, I wouldn't have lived 24 hours. Thanagar won't forget what I did. I'm on borrowed time everyday."

He walked up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Shayera, I won't let anything happen to you."

She turned around to face him and smiled weakly. "John, you can't stop it. I signed my death warrant that night in Las Vegas and I don't regret it - John, I don't regret it all."

She paused, "Do you know why I sacrificed my own people to save this planet?"

Her eyes glistened as she said softly, "Not because I was heroic ...but because I was selfish."

"I love you, John Stewart and...and... I didn't want you to die first. I don't know what I would have done if you had died."

She hesitated and added slowly, "I don't know what I would do if you die first."

He hugged her and she hugged him back hard. Oh, how he had missed her touch.

He put his hand under chin and gently lifted her head to look at him. "You know I voted you out, don't you?"

She smiled and leaned back, "Thank you for that real mood breaker, Mr. Romantic."

She continued but her tone was flatter, "The Flash told me. I don't blame you. You were angry with me. Don't worry about it. I quit so your vote really mean didn't anything."

"No, you're wrong. That vote meant everything to me," he said stepping back and breaking the hug. Sadness returned to his eyes as he spoke.

"Voting you out was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I voted you out because I wanted to protect you. If I voted you in, others would always think that you were there only because you had personal value to me and both of us know that's not true. You were a valued contributor to the team. But, most importantly, I could never be sure that the other members would be there for you if you needed help."

He hesitated and then continued. "When we came together as a league all those years ago, it was a matter of trust; thirteen months ago I couldn't trust them to trust you. I couldn't trust them to be there for you, if you needed help. That's why I voted with my head instead of my heart. That why I voted you out."

She stepped closer to him. "In hindsight, I guess I would have been disappointed if you had voted any other way."

He smiled slightly and put his hands behind his back and rocked on his heels for a moment and then asked, "So where are we? I mean us. Are we permanently broken?"

She removed her helmet and set it on the ground. She stared lovingly into his green irradiated eyes.

"Not broken - perhaps just chipped - just cracked," she said as she stepped up to him and put her arms around his neck. "And it's going to take some time to repair the damage."

She smiled as she angled her head to kiss him and said, "I'm prepared to take the time. Are you?"

He wrapped his arms around her waist and said, "Shayera, I - ..."

At that moment a transmission from the Martian Manhunter crackled over his communicator.

"Green Lantern, we have a problem that requires your assistance."

"J'onn, I am not available. I'm busy!"

She put her head to his chest and listened to his heartbeat as she waited for him to finish telling J'onn to go away. She had waited for this moment for thirteen months and the least the Martian could have done was to give them another two minutes before he destroyed this Kodak moment.

"Is Hawkgirl with you?" She raised her head from his chest at the mention of her name.

He looked at her with a solemn look and pursed his lips together. "She is."

"Tell her that Solomon Grundy has returned."

She gasped, "That's impossible... he's dead. I saw him buried.

"I am on my way," the Green Lantern said into his communicator.

She put her helmet on. "I'm going with you."

He knew there was no use in trying to talk her out of her decision to accompany him.

"Shayera," he said, "it might get a little rough as far as the other members are concerned. They may not welcome your help with open arms."

"Don't worry about me, I'll be okay. Besides," she smiled. "I want to see how you awaken the dead."

"J'onn, we're both on our way," Lantern said into his communicator as he formed a bubble around them both.

As the bubble rose into the sky, Shayera held him tightly. "John, everything is the same and everything is different, but I'll try to get use to it."

The Lantern smiled at her. "We'll get use to it together. I'll be there for you and we'll be fine."

She smiled broadly. "Oh, my dear John. I was talking about getting use to that beard."

END